I could comment on the unbelievable-ness and the awfulness of the week and then correct myself by saying ”no, the year actually” and then correct that again, with two years and then a decade. Yet, with the news that shocked, but not really surprised the world a couple of days ago, something else crystallized in me. I’m done, I’m over responding with hatred and anger and scorn and fear and cynicism, I’m just done. I choose love, even when that means silence, even when that doesn’t necessarily mean hope.
Maybe it is the other news that really did shock and devastate me, the actual and not only a symbolic death, the hardly bearable loss of one of the most gracious men I ever leaned my ear to, which cemented that in me. With his leaving, I’m choosing to grieve by taking his lesson and carry my humanity with all the honesty I can posses, the melancholy and the joy, not the cruel, but the heavy freedom, trying in my way to be, smiling, singing and dancing even though the news is bad and it all looks grim, in the midst of chaos and darkness, accepting the cracks and so letting the light come in. There are so many things I can think of to say, but all I really want to say is Thank you, thank you for the music and most of all, thank you for your being.
We can cry for losing a great man. Still, we can’t say we lost a great soul, until we lose ours. That is why I accept this world as my own, but not the society they impose on me and the values they seem to represent. Not by rejecting really, but only by standing for something much more real and much less monopolistic. Love.
P.S.: I feel I need to clarify what I mean by choosing love. Not some kind of ignorance and isolation from the world, nor the passive acceptance, the inertia or the lack of criticism. However, it is a change of a place from where we choose to criticize, act and react to the world.